you may think it was easy to reach today. 1 month to our dream, our wedding day.
it was harder than you can ever imagine.

well, humans, we made mistake we fall we hurt. we changed, we grew up.
but love.

LOVE REMAINS
LOVE IS STRONG

and that was what i learnt


the greatest challenged i had to this wedding day was over the last weekend. on velentines day. when we had the biggest war of our life, where we could give up.
but it was a miracle.

Thank you Allah.



we were really tired i can say. and i am very lazy to bother mr dean.
so when we were having the "candlelight" dinner, awak made his beautiful vday speech saying he love me he needs me yadayada.

and i replied "you know, i am very tired of this rship i wish i can runn away from you sumtimes.."
then suddenly awak face changed. like he was shot at the heart. omg i can still remember the look. he was soo hurt i know. he was so angry he can barely say out loud "eh jom-balek"



i always runn away thats for sure, everytime we quarrell i will run awayy very farr away. but i know no matter how far i runn, awak will chase me. i can feeeeeeel him chasing me. even one time at sempang bedok i ran into a hutan and i got so scared then i fell then suddenly i saw a hand.
it was awak.

no matter how far i hurt him. how far i run from him.
he will chase me. and he reasoned "YOU THINK I CAN BEAR SEE YOU ALONE?"

back to the story
so that day at vivo, i wanted to run away but he held my hand " he said i will send you" he was very fuck up. i had no money with me (my wallet at his bike box) so i demanded money and he gave me $14. a $10 dollar note and 2 $2 note. then when we were outside near tangs that night i realise he was holding a lighted cig, while we were waiting for the traffic light to get to his bike,

i rannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn


i went into tangs, i turned here and there, i ran up the escalator and into a toilet. i ran soooo far i dun even noe where i was. then i saw the train to sentosa. i thought i wanna go there but i got scared.

then again i saw the word sentosa-the place where he rescued me many years ago

i turned my back, awak was not there.
and i look at my hand. i was holding the $14 he gave me.

i was so lost.



i wanna go home but my keys are with him my hp everything. no one at home at that time.
i dunno where i should go.

i kept walking, there were so many couples.
i pray to Allah " why this happen? "


then
suddeennlyy

i burpppp
then i smell the food awak just blanja me. then i remembered early in the day he went to my house while i was asleep to surprise me with a beautiful candle for our room. then he bring me to makan. and all the way i was so angry with him
i duno whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy


then suddenly i heard awak voice in my heart
"YOU TINK I BEAR TO LEAVE YOU ALONE"

THEN I TURNED, AND HE WAS NOT THERE
and i started to cry

and i started to talk to myself that i didnt even know
i was mumbling and i try to fig it was so hard
i was saying "AWAK I'M SORRRRRYYYYYYYYYY"


so i find my way back to awak. i ran back to where he parked his bike.
i know its pointless because i know this time awak has went home
he has left me

so i rannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn with so much regret.
i kept hearing his voice "YOU TINK I BEAR TO LEAVE YOU ALONE"

it was so tiring. i was at vivo and his bike at bus interchange.
as i reach the carpark my heart beat SO FAST
i was so scared of the outcome.


IT WAS ALREADY AN HOUR SINCE I ROAM AROUND ALONE AT VIVO
IT IS NOT POSSIBLE THAT IN THAT HOUR AWAK COULD STILL BE HERE
HE SHOULD HAVE LEFT






i paused
then my heart DROPPED



his bike was still there






AWAK IS STILL HERE
AWAK IS FINDING ME
IT HAS BEEN 1 HOUR AND AWAK IS STILL FINDING ME




i sat next to the bike, then i criedd like an idiot
i was so horrible!

then somebody said in my heart "you shouldnt give up this test"



after another hour after so many mosquito bite
i saw awak
he was walking looking down.

i stood up ran to him and HUG HIM SO TIGHT AND SAID SORRY

(he was shocked of course lol)


i hugged him for the longest time.
then he looked at me and said " i will never give up "



this is the most unforgettable velentines day


















now.

1 month plus.
the next time we meet will be our ROMM, next week
and that will be our last, until our wedding day. (1 month cannot meet)



and i said to him and i tell everyone here
"kite janji awak, kite akan tunngu awak di atas our pelamin"

-we nikah at pelamin so that will be the next place we meet.